Embers
by xscreamyx
Summary: Four Million years after Cybertron is restored, Starscream suffers from PTSD and severe pain from his terrible encounter with Predaking, Darksteel, and Skylynx on Darkmount's throne. Knock Out offers to help him with these, to make the Seeker his old self again.
1. Promise

_"You will pay for the pain you put us through. The abuse and suffering we endured…"_

Starscream woke with a start, having had yet another nightmare about that dreadful night when the mighty Megatron gave up his long desire to rule, and the night that he was brutally raped by Shockwave's dreadful children. The Seeker forced himself out of his berth, groaning at how stiff his joints felt, the age of the metal that made up his ancient body slowly catching up with him, it wasn't the pain in his body that got to him the most however, it was the scars in his mind and last night wasn't even the worst of the nightmares that had plagued him for so long. He thanked Primus that in the four million years after the war his nocturnal terrors have greatly reduced in intensity, he only had them every few cycles and now they rarely even woke him in the middle of the night so much as made him suffer until it was actually time for him to wake, although he was grateful for the sleep he often wondered what was worse, being woken by the nightmares or having to suffer through them.

The former Decepticon went through his usual morning routine; washed, refueled, anything to get his processor off of the previous night's terrible dream. He checked his mental calendar to see what today's boring agenda would be. Apparently today was the day he saw his new physician; since the last one had had neither experience nor knowledge of Seeker anatomy so he looked around and found one that had plenty of experience. He didn't know the name of his new medic, in his current mental state he was somewhat reluctant to go and meet with this new medic at all, but he'd have to sooner or later. He needed to see a physician often because of what the Predacons did to him, it permanently caused his interface array to static and spark occasionally, he'd also suffered some damage to his wings, but they had been able to fix that, but not his more serious injuries the problem was the more serious injuries he'd sustained required particular knowledge of the seeker body type; all of which caused him great stress, discomfort, and, worst of all, excruciating pain.

Once Starscream was done getting ready, he walked out of his house and transformed, getting to the clinic within no time; he was grateful it was right there in Vos. He transformed and walked in, signing in and sitting in the waiting room. He didn't notice the medic as he came out to check the list for the next patient and said, in a rather shocked voice, "Starscream?"

The Seeker looked up to see none other than Knock Out, ex-Decepticon medic, and ex comrade to the ex-SIC. Starscream stood up and stepped over to him. "Knock Out… It's been a long time…" He said, his voice somehow different to Knockout. It lacked that ego that Knockout was so used to hearing in it.

Knock Out nodded, a friendly smirk spread across his face, though he noticed how the Seeker didn't walk with the same confidence anymore. "Indeed it has Starscream, please, come this way." He motioned to a door and held it open for the Seeker. "So what has you coming to my quaint little clinic?"

Starscream sighed as he sat down on the med berth in the middle of the small office room. "It's a long story I'd rather not relive, so I'll give you the technicalities. My interface array is… damaged. My previous physicians have told me it is not fixable though. I need to see a physician every so often because it causes me great suffering in my life."

Knock Out didn't know how to take this information, it was shocking and slightly unsettling. "Starscream, if I'm going to treat you I need to know what happened." He said somewhat hesitantly.

Starscream was silent a moment before he sighed, looking away from the red medic. "I was raped by Predaking and his disciples. Four million years ago. That is what happened. Now, are you going to start your examination or not?" He snapped the last part, laying on his back.

Knock Out's optics widened at the information, but he shrugged off his surprise, putting on a professional air. "Okay. Let me have a look."

Starscream was hesitant, though he didn't know why. The medic had already seen his interfacing equipment before, both in professional situations and otherwise. The Seeker took a deep breath before spreading his legs wide and opening his panel with a click, and some effort.

Knock Out choked. This was the worst he'd ever seen the Seeker's panel, even after Starscream had had a rough fragging with the ex-warlord Megatron. Wires were ripped and exposed, sparking every once and a while. Knock Out wouldn't be surprised if there were dysfunctional sensory nodes inside his valve. The Seeker's anterior node wasn't there, looking as though it had been ripped off of the Seeker brutally.

"Well get on with it!" Starscream spat. He wanted to get this done and over with.

Knock Out cleared his vocals, and looked over at Starscream. "I'm just going to take a look around to see what I'm dealing with. If you feel any pain, just let me know" Knock Out waited for Starscream to nod his permission before placing a gentle, practiced servo over some exposed wires. The seeker hissed in pain, and Knock Out backed off from those wires. The medic continued with inspecting the outer folds of Starscream's valve. He hummed in approval when he didn't get any reaction. He looked back up at the Seeker. "Now, I'm going to take a look inside. Again, let me know if you feel any pain." With an expert servo, Knock Out took two digits and placed them tenderly over the first nodes. The medic jumped when the touch received him a blood-curdling scream. Knock Out quickly removed his digits, shushing the Seeker.

Starscream glared at him, tears flowing down his faceplates. "DON'T DO THAT!" He slid his panel shut and closed his legs. It hurt so badly. The Seeker offlined his optics, trying to ignore the searing hot pain inside him.

Knock Out looked at him with apologetic optics. "I'm sorry Starscream. I didn't know how badly you were damaged." He looked away, not able to look at the Seeker.

Starscream onlined his optics, looking up at the cherry-red medic. It was nice to see a familiar face after so long. A friendly face. While they had their differences, Knock Out had been the only one to ever let the Seeker rant and actually helped him feel better. He was an amazing physician, maybe he could make him feel better again? "F-Fix me, Knock Out… Please…"

Knock Out looked up at him again, promise in his optics and determination on his faceplates. The Seeker had been Knock Out's only ally, perhaps even friend, after Breakdown was offlined. Starscream had even promised him a place as his Second-In-Command when he plotted to overthrow Megatron. The red medic nodded, no hint of his usual ego or sass. "I will. I promise, Starscream."


	2. Pain

"_I promise I will hurt you."_

Starscream shook the bad thoughts out of his head and refocused on Knock Out. "Thank you doctor. Is there anything else you need to do?" The Seeker was reluctant to ask, touches down there hurt too much. But he wanted to see if there was anything Knock Out could do to end his suffering.

The medic nodded. "I still need to take a look inside," this earned him a terrified look from the Seeker, "but I will numb you first. Strongest anesthetic I have, okay?" Knock Out waited for a shaky nod from Starscream before hooking him up to a machine that would turn off the pain receptors in his interface panel. It was a few minutes before it began working, and Knock Out asked Starscream to open up again. The Seeker complied hesitantly, spreading his legs and sliding his interface panel open once again.

Knock Out took his two digits and pressed them softly in the Seeker's damaged valve, feeling the first few nodes and sighing in relief when Starscream didn't scream again. He felt around the Seeker's damaged valve, taking note of all the damaged nodes and torn walls. When he removed his digits they were covered in fresh energon. It was worse than he had initially thought. He grabbed a data pad and recorded all the damage, making side notes about how he could fix it. It would be a long time, but Knock Out was sure it was fixable, despite what the other medics had told Starscream.

Starscream watched Knock Out take notes, watching as his face made different expressions as he thought of ways to repair the damage. Seeing the medic at work calmed the Seeker down a bit; it was nice to know someone finally cared to try and repair him. After a while, Starscream cleared his vocals to get his medic's attention. "So… Damage report?" he said, a slight hint of worry in his voice.

"Hm, it will be a lot of work. I've never seen this sort of damage so severe. But your previous physicians were wrong, it is fixable. But it would take a lot of physical therapy." Knock Out said, not looking up from his data pad. He heard a small squeak of joy come from the Seeker, who tried to hide it behind a question.

"What kind of… physical therapy? What would I have to do?" He sounded rather dubious about the concept of having to put his valve through it.

Knock Out waved his servo in the air as he spoke in a nonchalant voice, "Oh, I would just have to use certain tools to stretch the walls and stimulate the nodes, starting small and increasing as we go. But that won't be for a long time."

Starscream sighed happily at the thought of not being in pain. He didn't care how long it would take at this point, Knock Out had the cure, and Starscream would do anything to get it. "So what would you have to do before we reach the physical therapy portion of my healing?"

Knock Out flipped through the data pad, as if trying to find what he was going to do. "You will need at least 2 to 3 surgeries, recovery time will depend on how well your automatic repair systems react to the surgeries. But other than that, there isn't much else. I'm going to put you on some strong painkillers, they will make you drowsy so make sure to take them before you recharge. Also, with the surgeries, you won't be able to transform during the first few days or so after." He kept flipping through his data pad, making sure he said all he wanted to. "Well, that's it Starscream. Any more questions?"

Starscream shook his head, "No, doctor, thank you."

Knock Out nodded and escorted him out of the clinic.

~oOo~

Starscream had an appointment with Knock Out every other week for a few weeks before he was ready for his first surgery. And by ready, he'd actually meant terrified. What if something had gone wrong? What if Knock Out discovered that it really wasn't fixable? The things that could go wrong were endless, and Starscream had his processor on them the entire time he sat in the waiting room. Then Knock Out came out and called his name.

"Starscream, you ready?" the medic asked with a small smile. It wasn't joking, it was sincere, and Starscream appreciated that.

"About as ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this over with." the Seeker stood up and followed Knock Out to the operating room. There were other medics and some nurses in the room preparing it for operation. Starscream swallowed nervously and laid on the med berth, staring at the ceiling.

Knock Out walked up to the berth after speaking with a nurse and placed a servo on Starscream's shoulder. "What we are going to do today is clean you out and close up all the serious wounds. Simple surgery, but it should make you feel ten thousand times better. Now, I'm going to put you into stasis. Just relax and it will all be over shortly."

Starscream simply nodded, offlining his optics and focusing on his breathing, then suddenly everything went black.

~oOo~

It seemed only seconds later that Starscream awoke from stasis, his lower half suddenly numb. It was a nice break from the pain, though uncomfortable as it was. He made an attempt to sit up, but was pushed back down by a gentle servo on his chest. The Seeker looked up to see Knock Out looking at him with a sad expression. "Why did you do it? Why did you kill your unborn sparkling?"

Starscream looked down. "How do you know?" It was true, he had once carried the horrid hybrid of one of the Predacons, and he aborted.

Knock Out's mouth was a thin line, and he did not remove his servo from Starscream's chest. "There were scratches in the walls of your valve, as if you tried pulling something out that didn't want to be pulled at."

Starscream's face turned pale, the memory too painful. "You don't know what they did to me… That thing needed to be put out of it's misery before it had a chance to live. It was a freak of nature."

Knock Out removed his servo from Starscream's chest and put it under the Seeker's chin to make him look at him. "Please enlighten me as to what they did."

Starscream looked at the medic with pained optics. "The story isn't pretty…"


	3. Memories

_"I am not here to seize thrones, Starscream. But, to settle scores." Predaking sneered. Starscream began to shriek in Seeker dialect, the chirps and trills of distress echoing on the walls of the fortress. Darksteel and Skylynx chuckled at his panic as the three Predacons approached the Seeker. _"_You will pay for the pain you put us through. The abuse and suffering we endured… I will hurt you, I promise." Predaking lunged at Starscream, pinning the Seeker to the throne by his wrists, both held in a tight grip of one clawed servo. The other servo beckoned for __Darksteel and Skylynx to come forth. _

_The two younger Predacons stepped forward, taking each of the Seeker's legs roughly and spreading them apart. Darksteel snickered. "Such a beautiful frame, I almost feel guilty being a part of this." _

_Skylynx nodded in agreement and chuckled as well. "I know, and the guilt makes me want to destroy his frame even more! Especially here~" Skylynx traced a claw along the seam of Starscream's interface panel, which brought out a slight whimper from the Seeker. "I want to destroy this entirely!" He dug his claw into the seam, forcing the panel to open, revealing the Seeker's interface array, spike cover on top, and valve cover below that. The Seeker chirped in distress and panic, attempting to close his legs but the Predacons' grips were too tight._

"_Patience Skylynx! You will get your turn in time, but right now is my turn." Predaking snarled, using his free servo to coax the Seeker's valve cover open. Starscream refused, glaring up at the Dragonformer with utter loathing. Predaking growled back at him, "Unless you want me to tear it off, I suggest you open up for me!"_

_Starscream squeaked, slowly opening the cover over his valve. Once it was open, Predaking wasted no time in unsheathing his spike and slamming it into Starscream, stuffing him too fast and ripping the walls of the Seeker's dry, tight valve. Starscream let out a cry true to his name, coolant tears falling down his faceplates. He didn't even notice Predaking give the signal for Skylynx and Darksteel to join him, and suddenly Starscream's valve was ripped apart more as two more spikes joined Predaking's. The Seeker offlined his optics, begging his mind to wake him up from this nightmare. _

_Predaking was the first to overload, followed by Skylynx, and last was Darksteel. Starscream whined at being filled to the brim with the unwanted transfluids, knowing very well what would happen because of it. _

_The Predacons didn't stop after that though. Predaking pulled out of Starscream's valve, only to shove it into the Seeker's mouth._

Knock Out cut Starscream off of his story, thoroughly disturbed and sorry for the Seeker. "Okay Starscream, that's enough."

Starscream didn't hear him, and continued through sobs. "He… He overloaded in my mouth… Then he fragged my valve again whilst his underlings…. While they…." He choked on a sob.

Knock Out pulled the Seeker into a tight embrace. This wasn't the Starscream he once knew. The Starscream he knew wouldn't let his hardships ruin him. He'd been through millennia of abuse from Megatron, though it wasn't the same kind of abuse it still had the same idea, right? Knock Out took the Seeker's chin in a servo and made him look up into his red optics. "It's gonna be alright Starscream. They can't hurt you anymore."

Starscream sniffled, wiping away his tears and gave the medic a small genuine smile. "Thank you, Knock Out."

The red mech smiled back, letting his servo drop from the Seeker's chin to his shoulder. "Good news though, the surgery was a success. All that need be fixed is your interface nodes and programming and you'll be good as new!" He smirked at the mention of interface, and Starscream smirked back.

The Seeker chuckled before he said, "Once those are fixed, I hope you plan on helping me test them out. For medical purposes, of course."

The medic winked at him. "I would be delighted."

There was a moment of silence in which the two mechs simply stared at one another. Memories of lonely nights spent together aboard the Nemesis went through both of their minds, memories of when times were somewhat better despite the war. They had an understanding of each other, one that few former Decepticons could say they had with another mech. The silence was broken by Starscream chuckling and he leaned up to plant a gentle kiss on Knock Out's lips. The medic was slightly surprised, but kissed him back nonetheless, slipping his glossa into the Seeker's mouth, who met it with his own. Starscream pulled Knock Out up onto the berth, the medic straddling him and propping himself up on his elbows as the kiss became deeper, more passionate.

Knock Out let his servos wander over the Seeker's frame, and Starscream didn't protest, but let his own servos wander over the other's frame. They explored each other's bodies, familiar yet different at the same time, a long lost memory returning with each gentle touch. A cable pinched here, a seam traced there, each mech knew how to make the other feel good.

Knock Out pulled away from the kiss first, simply because he could feel his spike beginning to pressurize, begging to be released, and he felt his valve clench, begging to be stuffed full to the brim with Starscream. Knock Out cleared his throat, a blue blush on his faceplates. "Well, see you at your appointment next week?"

Starscream's faceplates were the same shade of blue. "Y-yeah."

Knock Out got off of the Seeker, helping him to his pedes. "Be careful not to do anything too strenuous."

Starscream smirked at him. "I know."

Knock Out smirked back, giving the Seeker a kiss on the cheek before letting him leave the clinic.

~oOo~

Starscream laid in bed, his mind wandering, when it came across another terrible memory.

_Starscream sat in his washroom, looking at the device in his servo with complete disbelief. It had to have malfunctioned… or… or something, right? He dropped the carrying test into to the wastebin, looking down at his abdomen. "No…" He placed a gentle servo over his gestation chamber, horror filling him. "No! No! No!" He hit himself in the abdomen, over and over. "Get out!" He then opened his valve cover, and shoved his servo up it. It hurt like the Pits, but he didn't care. He wanted it out NOW._

_He reached up as far as he could, finally getting a grip on what felt like the leg of the hybrid abomination. Then he pulled, hard. He let out a scream as the creature clawed the walls of his already damaged valve, not wanting to leave the comfort of his carrier. The creature put up a fight, but it was in vain. Within minutes Starscream had pulled the thing out of him. Even though it was only partially developed, Starscream could easily tell it was the terrible spawn of him and Predaking. It was silver with orange and red accents. It looked more like Starscream though, aside from the dragon wings beginning to sprout from it's back, and from further observation Starscream concluded that it was a femme. She was only as big as Starscream's palm. Starscream then began to sob over the now dead body in his servo. "What have I done?"_

Starscream pushed himself from the memory, coolant tears flowing from his optics, and went to sleep.


End file.
